Wednesday, 14 January 2015

It's been awhile..

It's been awhile again! Ha ha. I have not been posting here for around half a year until the recent post which I had written when I just woke up from that dream around 10 am in the morning, overwhelmed by emotions, I guess, and I wanted to share it somewhere, where people would see and think it is something that is suppose to be there and not too long or whatsoever.

Well, previously I wanted to revamp my blog where I would post daily-weekly things under a certain theme BUT I did not get down to it because of a few reasons: one for procrastinating, not that this was the only thing I was procrastinating from (but also my uni-work, chores, etc.) and another one is I forgot about it from being overwhelmed by my personal emotions over the obstacles that I had needed to hurdle across but had failed a few times from spending majority of my time running away from it, and many others.
Until lately (just a few moments ago actually), I figured out that I should not be thinking about a theme, but I should be posting about things that would be interesting to me and maybe to some of you strangers out there that are reading this, things that I would discover along my timeline in this world. Not something too calculated, too intentional.

So yea.

Previously, majority of the time when I am writing here, it is because I had that sudden surge of emotions and wanted to write about how I feel about a certain situation that I am/was in, things that I wanted to share (or maybe brag that I am a-sort-of-a-knowledgeable person, ha ha), writing about where I was at at that moment in my life and some random pictures and food reviews of a certain places I went to. Some, with the intention of hoping that my blog would someday be as well-know and as good as some of the bloggers out there. I felt I was not being genuine about what I was writing here (not all of my writings are of course).

When I was younger, I wrote about things I dislike or just some random thoughts I had at that time, good, bad, hateful, negativity, etc. I would not say what I had written here are appropriate for everyone to read about but what I had written before were then, seemed okay to me. Ever since I realised that not everything I wrote here should be out there for anyone in the internet to see, I took away the archive link (not that I do not know that it is still possible to view them), hoping no one would be that interested in what I had written before to dig them up (after all, they are parts of me that I would like to keep).

Right now, what I would like to do here is to write about things I discover, things that interest me, things that may interest you too in some way, writing about things more genuinely, in a real manner (if you do get what I am trying to say, yay!) with a good intentions, not bashing about people/things/situation, something like that. I would not say I would not do it, I may do it accidentally/ unknowingly (it would be great when someone points it out then, please), but I hope I would not do it again.
I was thinking about having my own domain instead of using blogger or some other sites but I am not earning right now, :/. So, until I am able to earn my own money, I will stick to here- which is not a bad thing. :)

I had been reading these past two weeks (fiction of course!) and I was not doing much about my life and right now, I would like to start walking again, start my world spinning again, one step at a time, hopefully managing the things I have well and not falling into random portholes that comes along the way and just pass by them, not lingering in them.

So, I hope you would look forward into seeing new things here and in my life. It would take some time to get there but I hope, I will be there. :)

If you guys may be wondering whether I got over that hurdle that I was trying to go through, I did! I finally did it, with a lot of help from the lecturers that I met in my last semester. :) I would really like to thank them for believing in and pushing me over that hurdle, and God too. I love you Lord! Previously I feel like I was reading the bible in vain because I could not feel Him but as I continue to read more and more of Him, I began to slightly know my God better, so if you are wondering whether it is worth it or not, just keep pushing through until you get what you were trying to reach for, because if you stop along the way, maybe you were just a few steps from reaching it. So just push on! It's going to be worth it, if not, it would at least give yourself some relief. That may be good enough too.

I still need to brush up on my writing. Apologies if it was a torture going through my writing. ha ha. 
Have a great day!

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