Thursday, 1 July 2010

I.

I always feel insecure about EVERYTHING...
Well.. almost everything..

like...
what I am about to say,
what I am about to do,
Whether my decision to do this is right or wrong?
What I say just now did it come out right?
Did they get what I was trying to say?

When I really really think though it, it would come out wrong or I would just keep my mouth shut.

So I would rather run away from a decision by doing unnecessary things so that at least I would not regret that decision made but still... I am deciding on doing nothing about which is something wrong and regretful because you stand there going nowhere, where else the people around continue moving forward. without you.

Being left behind is never a good feeling.

So what can I do?
face it and even if I made a wrong decision, live with it...

but the thing is my mind is so used to not deciding on things and automatically running to games, tv show which eventually bored me out... and I stand there, with people just passing through me and not knowing I was standing there because they are moving forward...


So it is now very hard for me to keep my path straight because my mind automatically switch to stupidity of computer and television mode and not coming out of it until I feel utterly useless in front of it and realising this right now is.. painful... heart breaking... what else?

I have no idea how much time I had wasted (again!) in this holiday...
but I know right now I am going nowhere until I get enroll into one university and look forward into it.. get a job while waiting for the start of my semester and become a no so time wasting person...

But after realising this,
I am yet to break out of it and start deciding on what goes next....
I need to really really step away from the computer and tv until then....

but I need info from the computer.....


No comments:

Post a Comment